Virtues and Vices: What They Can Teach You About Yourself
What Are Your Virtues and Vices?
I heard something the other day that made me stop and think:
Virtues and vices.
And because apparently my brain enjoys handing me something to contemplate when I’m supposed to be doing something else, I immediately started wondering:
What are my virtues?
What are my vices?
And, naturally…
Why does this suddenly feel like a personal performance review I did not ask for? 😂
But the more I thought about it, the more curious I became.
Because when we look honestly at both our virtues and our vices, we can learn things about ourselves that we might miss when we’re constantly trying to focus only on the “good” parts.
Your Virtues Tell a Story
Your virtues can reveal what you value.
Maybe you’re compassionate.Maybe you’re loyal.Maybe you’re generous.Maybe you’re courageous.Maybe you’re deeply intuitive.
Those qualities can tell you something about who you are and what matters to you.
But there’s another side to this conversation.
Our vices can tell us things, too.
What If Your Vices Are Information?
This is where things get interesting.
Instead of immediately labeling a behavior as bad, unhealthy, annoying, embarrassing, or something we need to eliminate, what if we got curious about it?
What is it doing for you?
What are you seeking?
What are you avoiding?
What are you protecting?
What need might be underneath it?
Because sometimes the thing we judge most harshly about ourselves is actually pointing toward something we need to understand.
And sometimes…
It’s simply showing us that we’re human.
Growth Doesn't Always Look Like “I Don't Do That Anymore”
One of the biggest things I noticed while reflecting on my own virtues and vices was that some things I once thought really tripped my trigger and made me seek more simply don't have the same hold on me anymore.
That realization was fascinating.
Because we often define growth by what we no longer do.
But what if growth can also look like:
“I understand myself differently now.”
That’s a very different kind of growth.
It’s less about forcing yourself into a new identity and more about developing a deeper relationship with yourself.
Why Are We So Quick to Judge Ourselves?
Human beings are complicated.
We can be incredibly loving and incredibly impatient.
Generous and protective.
Confident and insecure.
Courageous and afraid.
We can know exactly what we want one day and wonder what the hell we’re doing the next. 😂
That's the human experience.
So why do we expect ourselves to be one-dimensional?
Why do we believe we have to eliminate every vice before we're allowed to feel good about ourselves?
Self-awareness doesn't require self-condemnation.
You can acknowledge something you want to change without deciding that the thing makes you a bad person.
You can notice a pattern without becoming the pattern.
You can have a vice without making it your identity.
And you can recognize a virtue without turning it into another damn gold star you have to earn.
Curiosity Changes the Conversation
Instead of:
“What's wrong with me?”
Try:
“What can I learn about myself here?”
Instead of:
“Why do I keep doing this?”
Try:
“What is this behavior trying to tell me?”
Instead of:
“I should be past this by now.”
Try:
“Interesting. This is still showing up. What might I need to understand?”
That shift from judgment to curiosity can create space.
And sometimes, space is exactly where self-awareness begins.
You Don't Have to Fix Yourself
This might be the biggest takeaway.
You don't have to become a completely different person to grow.
You don't have to eliminate every vice.
You don't have to maximize every virtue.
You can simply become more willing to know yourself.
The whole you.
The complicated you.
The funny you.
The messy you.
The “well, that was certainly a choice” you. 😂
Because the goal isn't perfection.
It's relationship.
A deeper relationship with yourself.
And from there, you may discover that some things you thought were permanent aren't.
Some things you thought defined you don't anymore.
And some parts of yourself you judged harshly may simply have been asking to be understood.
A Little Virtue + Vice Reflection
If you're feeling curious, grab a journal and ask yourself:
What are three virtues I see in myself?
What are three vices or patterns I tend to judge myself for?
What might each one be teaching me?
What do I value underneath my virtues?
What might I be seeking, avoiding, protecting, or needing underneath my vices?
Which patterns don't have the same hold on me anymore?
What would change if I approached myself with curiosity instead of judgment?
You don't need to answer everything today.
Hell, you don't even need to finish the list before your coffee gets cold. 😂
Just get curious.
And If You Don't Want to Untangle It Alone…
Sometimes self-reflection gets deep.
And sometimes you realize, Okay… I have officially opened a drawer I was not emotionally prepared to organize today. 😂
That's where support can help.
I offer life coaching for exactly these kinds of conversations.
Not to tell you who to be.
Not to fix you.
But to help you slow things down, get curious, see what’s underneath the pattern, and navigate what comes next.
Because you don't need someone to hand you all the answers.
Sometimes you just need someone willing to sit beside you while you figure out what your own answers are.
You are human.
That means you're going to have virtues.
You're going to have vices.
You're going to grow.
You're going to change.
And you're going to occasionally wonder what the hell you're doing.
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