My Story
Rinse and repeat! Ah yes, the patterns we conform to. Whether they are corky, weird, consistent, ugly, patterns can teach us so much about why we do the things we do.
As a mom, my patterns have taught me to let go on controlling things that my children do. How I manage my day and organize my things are definitely not that of my 11-year-old daughter!
Where I like edges to line up, colors to match, and books by alphabetically order, my daughter does not. Instead of stressing out about this and causing conflict, I have learned to appreciate our differences so we can teach each other instead of creating tension.
Understanding Our Patterns
We all have patterns in our lives. Some are deeply ingrained from childhood, others are learned over time, and many simply emerge from our daily routines. These patterns can be good or bad, productive or limiting. As much as we might feel like we’re in control, many of our actions are shaped by unconscious habits that we don’t even realize we’re repeating.
Embracing Differences with Love
For a long time, I struggled with how different my daughter’s approach was to mine. How could she not care about the edges lining up? Why didn’t she feel the need to organize everything? At first, I felt frustration building up inside me, a desire to impose my way of doing things onto her. But over time, I realized something important: our differences don’t have to create conflict.
Instead of stressing out about the way my daughter organized her room or how she approached tasks, I’ve learned to step back and appreciate her differences. She’s teaching me just as much as I’m teaching her. I’ve started to see the beauty in our diverse perspectives. While I might like to stick to patterns of order, she brings creativity, flexibility, and spontaneity into the picture.
Letting Go of Control and Finding Peace
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from this experience is the power of letting go. As a mother, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to control every aspect of our children’s lives—especially when we think our way is the “right” way. But true growth and harmony come from allowing space for differences.
By releasing the need to control everything, I’ve found peace not only within myself but also in my relationship with my daughter. We no longer butt heads over the small things. Instead, we create space for each other’s unique patterns to coexist. Her creativity and flexibility have inspired me to loosen up and let go of the perfectionist tendencies I once clung to.
Teaching Each Other Through Our Differences
This is the beauty of relationships, whether with our children, our partners, or others—we can teach each other. By recognizing and respecting each other’s patterns, we open the door to mutual growth. As a mother, I have learned as much from my daughter’s creative approach as she has from my need for order.
The lesson here is simple: embrace your own patterns, but don’t be afraid to let go of the ones that no longer serve you. Learn to appreciate the differences in those around you, especially those closest to you. In doing so, you can teach each other, grow together, and create harmony even in the midst of chaos.
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