Asking for forgiveness is not an easy task. Asking for forgiveness for ourselves is an even harder one. Why? Why is it so damn hard to forgive ourselves for things that we easily forgive others for?
Well, the list for that is a long one!
- The amount of vulnerability we have to unleash is a tall mountain to climb.
- The entanglement of past, present, and possible future endeavors to conquer in itself is a heaping task.
- Ah yes, the mirror image we have to look at.
- Pain. Possibly lots of it in every sense of the word.
This won't be easy, but essential for growth, healing, and a better handle on how to forgive ourselves along our continued journey.
So how can I sit here and speak upon this if I'm not doing it myself?
Ok, here I go, deep breath:
I forgive myself for feeling guilty for not being there in the tragic and sudden passing of my fiancé and father of my 2 children. It was out of my control, completely.
And the tears are streaming.
Man, that hurts....so very bad.
Thank you for allowing me this space to be vulnerable, honest, and real to my core.
You are not alone. It may feel like that at times, but that's when you need to lean in to your support squad. And me. I'm right here friend. <3